What's the Difference (Between Me and You)

Great song, B-T-dubs.

I got to make a decision. My landlord (I don't know why he is referred as this given that I live in an apartment in the sky and he is a human being, just like me) is selling the building I live in at the end of the summer, and needs me to GTFO by the end of August (Augusto en espanish).

Having been in Canada the better half of the last decade, I think this may prove to be a great opportunity to escape the brutal winter of the Great Lakes (nothing great about them anyway, it's just water) and hit up a less Antartic climate.

Now I gotta weigh my options like a tiny bag of cocaine. Check these pros and cons. If you can think of any to add, please mail your suggestions along with $8.00 S/H to:

  Where Should Jesus Pescado Move?

176 McCaul Street, Unit 1

Toronto, ON M5T 1W4

Canada

NOLA a.k.a. New Orleans, LouisianA

Pro: It's okay to get drunk at any situation possible.

Con: It's expected that you'll get shot once a week.

Pro: Women show off their goods for dollar store beads.

Con: I'd be living there, so I'd have no choice but to date these slutty, slutty women.

Pro: I'd be living there, so I'd have no choice but to date these slutty, slutty women.

Con: I'm not even sure what pros and cons are anymore. Thanks, Nawlins, you fucking sin bin.

Seattle a.k.a. Frasier Crane No Longer In Boston

Pro: The skyline looks like Toronto so all my friends must live there too.

Con: You can smell the hippies on Vancouver Island.

Pro: Ken Griffey Junior lives there (I think).

Con: Ken Griffey Junior hasn't impressed anyone since 1998.

Pro: Bigfoot.

Con: WTO (it attracts hippies from Vancouver Island).

New Hay-Hay a.k.a. The City Where Yale Is At

Pro: They sell pot at pizza restaurants.

Con: It stinks of white people (this includes Italians. I'm talking garlic.)

Pro: Dinos at the Peabody Museum.

Con: Nothing else is cool at the Peabody Museum (sorry, Mr. Peabody, no one wants to pay a suggested donation to look at rocks. BTW, aren't you a little old to be hanging out with that little kid all the time? Who the hell let a dog curate a museum? Did you even go to college?)

Pro: Claes Oldenburg sculpture.

Con: My readers don't know who Claes Oldenburg is. Get some more famous art, NH. Like Robert Indiana. He's good because you don't need to think about it. What- you think its cool to take small things and make them really big? That's not funny. My dad was shrunken as a kid. Fuck you, New Haven. Fuck. You.

Your pal,

Jesus Pescado

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