What's the Difference (Between Me and You)

Great song, B-T-dubs.

I got to make a decision. My landlord (I don't know why he is referred as this given that I live in an apartment in the sky and he is a human being, just like me) is selling the building I live in at the end of the summer, and needs me to GTFO by the end of August (Augusto en espanish).

Having been in Canada the better half of the last decade, I think this may prove to be a great opportunity to escape the brutal winter of the Great Lakes (nothing great about them anyway, it's just water) and hit up a less Antartic climate.

Now I gotta weigh my options like a tiny bag of cocaine. Check these pros and cons. If you can think of any to add, please mail your suggestions along with $8.00 S/H to:

  Where Should Jesus Pescado Move?

176 McCaul Street, Unit 1

Toronto, ON M5T 1W4

Canada

NOLA a.k.a. New Orleans, LouisianA

Pro: It's okay to get drunk at any situation possible.

Con: It's expected that you'll get shot once a week.

Pro: Women show off their goods for dollar store beads.

Con: I'd be living there, so I'd have no choice but to date these slutty, slutty women.

Pro: I'd be living there, so I'd have no choice but to date these slutty, slutty women.

Con: I'm not even sure what pros and cons are anymore. Thanks, Nawlins, you fucking sin bin.

Seattle a.k.a. Frasier Crane No Longer In Boston

Pro: The skyline looks like Toronto so all my friends must live there too.

Con: You can smell the hippies on Vancouver Island.

Pro: Ken Griffey Junior lives there (I think).

Con: Ken Griffey Junior hasn't impressed anyone since 1998.

Pro: Bigfoot.

Con: WTO (it attracts hippies from Vancouver Island).

New Hay-Hay a.k.a. The City Where Yale Is At

Pro: They sell pot at pizza restaurants.

Con: It stinks of white people (this includes Italians. I'm talking garlic.)

Pro: Dinos at the Peabody Museum.

Con: Nothing else is cool at the Peabody Museum (sorry, Mr. Peabody, no one wants to pay a suggested donation to look at rocks. BTW, aren't you a little old to be hanging out with that little kid all the time? Who the hell let a dog curate a museum? Did you even go to college?)

Pro: Claes Oldenburg sculpture.

Con: My readers don't know who Claes Oldenburg is. Get some more famous art, NH. Like Robert Indiana. He's good because you don't need to think about it. What- you think its cool to take small things and make them really big? That's not funny. My dad was shrunken as a kid. Fuck you, New Haven. Fuck. You.

Your pal,

Jesus Pescado

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115stargrrrl@uoftoronto.mail.ca.edu

well, Alexandra, i don't know what exactly to say in reply to this...i just feel like this is all coming out of left field. but i will try to be the bigger person here and dutifully respond to the points you laid out in this email.

i mean hell, you say im not open enough with you so here is where i prove you wrong.

- you say i never listen. never listen? come one now. you've got to be pretty stupid to think that i never listen. maybe i just never listen to you.

- and please forgive my personal hygeine. yeah that too. if im such a dirt bag how come you dated me for so long? just because i dont compulsively douche after every meal (btw what is up with that anyway?) im less than you? for your information i take a shower every week whether i need it or not. whats the big deal anyways? did you know that back a hundred years ago or whatever people didnt have such an obsession with cleansing themselves of germs. people were more in tune with nature back then and germs are a part of nature. you always say that we should not distance ourselves from the world, that nature is our mother and a bunch of crap like that. so then why do you kill mother nature's germs, huh? that's right.

- you say i get distracted by tangents. hey did you know that lysol was invented as a douche? i suggest use it for that.

- a sense of humour you say? listen to me. you tell science jokes. science. jokes. nobody thinks theyre funny.

-i dontreally know you? bull. i know exactly what you throw out every day. my dad doesn't know when my mom is done with her old issues of "american quilter" but i do for you. you throw them out, on average, the third wednesday after you receive them.like i dont pay attention to you.

youre list was obviously just some ramblings regarding superficial "flaws" i have. you didnt try to balance it out, idiot. how is that fair? try something like this: alexandra, your singing voice makes me cringe, but you let me get back-door access. see what i did there? i was objective. i listed both a positive and a negative. see? that's how you deal with someone in an adult manner. duh.

i dont think you realize how much i love you. i thought i was gay until i met you because i never felt a real connection between me and any woman. but dont you see? it was always you. i was waiting for you all this time.

i am committed to you. you seem to think that i neglected you. i will have youknow that i had you under surveillance when i could afford it and i did the job myself when i couldnt. how's that for committed.

i dont know if this is the right time to tell you this but as old billy shakespeare said "the course of true love never did run smooth". i want you to never feel a single ounce of pain. that is why i have...acquired...this here baby for us. i read that childbirth hurts women what with their being so evil for eating a snake-apple. but you didnt eat a snake-apple so you dont deserve it. well i mean you deserve it if you have a baby but see? i got us one already. i already covered that for us. so it kinda means like we just hyper-accelerated our relationship by nine months!

every baby needs loving parents, even if it was smuggled in a shipping container and is missing a kidney.

whew.... that was cathartic. i think we are stronger for having gone through this. so here we stand and now that i have, in fact, proved you wrong on all counts i believe the rules state that you have to be my girlfriend again. as judge mills lane would say: adjourned!

love you,

angelo

XOXOXO

Haters (I'm On To You)

I got floss stuck in my teeth.What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm all out of options.

Beyond that, I'm sick and tired of player haters. Not as in people who can't stand unfiltered British cigarettes; those things are nasty. I'm talking about the fellas that get insecure when you talk to their lady. Or worse, despise an individual for possession of game.

A. She's not "your woman." No matter how married or engaged you might be. Every person is qualified to make their own decisions. Slavery is illegal, pal.

A great rapper once said, "Fiance/ is just a fancy way to say/ a dumb ass fella getting played."

B. Step up your own game. If you are worried about a little lady giving a fella like me attention, quit it. Why am I more interesting than her? Duh! You've been player hating!

Women occupy 51% of the earth's human population. We have pretty good odds, simply because most men have little to no game whatsoever.

There are few rules to "The Game of Life." Beyond purchasing fire insurance, the strategy is basic.

Of course, I'm more of a Monopoly Man myself. Rich bald headed cracker making off with a bag of loot. Your loot. That's me. That's my style, playboy.

Next time you are bopping your head to sleazy R&B or some LL Cool J, don't forget that true N-Words like me exist. We are the life-giving blood of society. We are the milkmen delivering nutrition and semen to the housewives of America. If you have a problem with this, take it up with my A&R.

Your pal,
Jesus Pescado

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Arts & Letters

As unimpressive it may be to any employer that his potential employee's resume claims he studied how to write a letter for four years at a university that could have taught him a worthwhile subject like science or math, writing actual letters is a dying art form.

As always, I know what you are about to say. "Jesus, how can you say writing letters is dying? Email is just an electronic version of the traditional postal service. If anything, people are writing more letters."

Wrong. You completely misinterpreted the key ingredient.

LETTERS.

I mean actual letters, as in the LETTER "A": the first LETTER of the alphabet. Ever heard of it? Probably. Remember how to write it in cursive? Probably not. Helvetica? As long as you take your Adobe programs semi-seriously. Times New Roman? Nothing "new" about that. Courier? If you write articles for Barry Brothers you use it every day!

What happened? I remember stank-ass Sister Julie (whose breath reeked of bleach, inspiring rumors as to how she calmed down after a hard days work) making us repeat these flaky-fairy-obsolete-and-continuous forms over and over in our budget-ass workbooks until we were all wanting to drown our "Lady of" sorrows in Clorox. These days, kids don't need to learn cursive and it pisses me off. Practicing an art I would never find useful was an invaluable part of elementary school education.

CRITICAL THINKING

Why the fuck did I get so good at 4-Square? 

But beyond cursive, people don't use the post for casual communication. I was talking to my friend Jee in Seoul. Now her English isn't so good. My Korean is impeccable, I just choose to never use it. Frequently I dominate our arguments, which obviously works in my favor.

1. It wastes paper
2. Letters are more foreign
3. If one of us is late on responding to the other we can blame the various postal services used
4. Sending letters takes up other people's time, making us feel more important
5. You can send things other than letters, like coupons, articles from newspapers, drawings, dried flowers (if you are writing a girl - girls love that shit), locks of hair, dirt from your homeland, pieces of endangered species, photo booth photos, etc.
6. Construction paper
7. It's more intimate. It's like sending an email without a condom on.
8. The postal service takes a lot longer (and women talk too much as it is, I mean, am I right fellas?)

Due to this revelation of mine I've decided to start a Pen Pal network. If you or someone you know would like to participate, please mail a check or money order for $15.00 USD to:

Barry Brothers(TM) Pen Pals c/o John Barry

176 McCaul Street, Unit 1

Toronto, ON M5T 1W4

Canada

Use of cursive is permissable. Please allow 2-4 business weeks for you complimentary congradulatory response letter including the name and mailing address of your new Pen Pal.

An Evening with Pablo Jueves

As one of the most elusive living visual artists, Mr. Pablo Jueves is a man of intrigue as much as he is a man of exsquisite creativity providing the platform for what contemporary artists such as Felix Larios refer to as post-contemporary reformism. An influence to illustrators as much as he is to fellow fine artists, Jueves crosses seemingly invisible barriers of art and design while keeping his audience captivated: constantly waiting for more.

I was lucky enough to bump into Pablo last Thursday at his favorite weekly hang-out (which due to his reclusive nature he has asked me to not name in this article.) Well into his 70s, Pablo is famous for not knowing his actual age, place of birth (he assumes it is San Salvador) or whereabouts of his birth certificate. Despite his emmense popularity and international fame, he remains an undocumented person.

John Barry: I have known of your work since I was in grade school, but my art teachers would frequently question whether or not you actually existed. Actually, it has been the topic of several lectures I've attended. How would you respond to this?

Pablo Jueves: I prefer not to address such questions. I am here in the flesh. I am sitting. How is the sun here? Or the earth? Does the wind have identification? But these things - we know they exist. They are our life. Our blood. Does life need paper to exist?

JB: Of course not. But you are something of a Santa Claus to the art world.

PJ: People see my art. They recognize it. They say things such as, "I could draw such a thing. This Jueves does not need to. Why does he?"

JB: You don't need to.

PJ: Of course I do not. But the world wills it. Just as the world wills my existence. The world wills life.

JB: Critics often say the difference between your work and other artists' is that your pieces are alive.

PJ: (Laughing) Alive! Paint and canvas - they are inanimate. How can one say such nonsense? These critics - they know words but not meanings. Words are inexpensive. Mankind speaks billions and billions of words each day.

JB: I don't quite follow you.

PJ: There is a town in Mexico. Very tiny. In the center is a well. But the well has no water. No one lives in this town. Alas!

JB: When was the last time you made a public appearance?

PJ: I never make a public appearance, as you say. But I talk to you, do I not? The great Santa Claus!

JB: Meeting with you has been such an honor, Mr. Jueves. If you had one thing to tell the world right now, what would it be?

Pablo Jueves remained silent for the rest of the interview.  He casually sipped his espresso and drew sketches of people walking on the street. Pablo now has a Facebook account and encourages his fans to add him as a friend.

Pablo Jueves will be displaying work at the New Artmichael Gallery in Toronto, Canada on June 23rd. Tickets are only available in advance and can be bought through the mail. Please send $55.00 a person to:

the New Artmichael Gallery c/o John C. Barry

176 McCaul Street

Toronto, ON

M5T 1W4

Only ten tickets are available. Sales are first come, first serve. Limit 2 per customer.

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BARRY BROTHERS' ASTROLOGY

It's a little tradition of mine to write an Astrology column every third Tuesday of the month. Some of you are probably asking, "Why a Tuesday?" "Shouldn't he use lunar months instead of the arbitrary Roman calendar?"

I'm gonna quote Jay-Z here:

Fuck you, pay me.

Why should I be doing this for free if all my readers are gonna do is nay-say every single tradition I keep holy?

Secondly, why do you (the reader) not email your concerns? Are you really such a wimp that you don't want to confront these issues right here, right now?

ARIES (March 21 - April 19) As you already know this is the best astrological sign to have. God really gave you a whole wad of Get Out of Jail Free cards with this one. Consider it a lifetime supply. But I got to warn you- even though you have all these GOoJF cards, you still don't pass Go every time you're sent to jail. Ergot, no $200 my friend. My suggestion: get one of the good monopolies with Ventnor or North Carolina. Those kick ass. Put a bunch of houses on 'em and wait for the money train to roll in.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) You are afraid of life, so you need to embrace the challenges everyone experiences. If you fall off your bike, you need to get back on. Unless your bike is a motorcycle in which case you shouldn't try to move because you might seriously damage your back. On the road of life there are passengers and drivers. Keep a loaded gun under the driver's seat in case you bump into D-Loc.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) Goya etched an etching called El Suen~o De La Razo'n Produce Monstruos. In other words, you really need to calm the hell down. You're producing these monsters left, right and center and really this whole sham is gonna spiral out of control if you don't keep yourself balanced. Right now I want you to go up to your wife and apologize for being a little bitch. Don't cry; she won't believe that you are sorry. Why? Because you still look like a little bitch.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22) I'm really sorry to tell you this, but you only have 6 months to live. In the meantime, we'll say its okay for you to smoke pot.

LEO (July 23 - August 22) I have an uncle named Leo. I'm not sure when his birthday is. I dated a girl with this astrological sign before, and if you are anything like her you need to calm down. And you probably have nice boobs. But for real, you need to calm down. A lot. Take a tape recorded and just leave it running all day so in the evening you can sit down and really listen to yourself. Yep, it's true. The whole world realizes how intense you are about everything and you didn't until right now. Isn't that embarrassing?

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) I once dated a Virgo, too. Needless to say, I took her Virgonity and she is no longer a Virgo. But enough about me, let's talk about you. Do you come here very often? Oh man, did you read Angelo Pudding's post about Ben Franklin? That was classic! What's your favorite kind of pasta? Would you rather take a spaceship to the moon or a submarine to the bottom of the ocean? You have the most stunning eyes I've ever seen...

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22) Libro means "book" in Spanish, but don't let this get to your head. Just because your astrological sign sounds smart doesn't mean you are. But hey - did you ever see that TV show Smart Guy? With the little kid that goes to college? Anyway man the stars aren't really telling me too much about your life and crap.

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21) Mercury rising tells us that Jupiter is fascinated by the Sun. To put in plain and simple, don't stick to Cracker Jack. Those prizes suck and there is no risk. I mean you can keep eating it for the candied corn. Needless to say it's delicious. Just don't expect to win a million dollars overnight on that honkey. Buy lotto tickets, visit casinos, throw some dice in the alley - naw mean? You only win big when you risk to lose big.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21) The world isn't black and/or white. There are like 500 colors we can see. And about 100 we can't. Like, there are probably, like, 200 different kinds of blue. Eskimos have 200 different words for snow and Peruvians have 20 words for cocaine. Anyway, life is a giant spectrum of rainbows and shadows and stuff so don't walk around like it ain't. You'll just look dumb. Mad people will look at you and be all, "Yo man. What's wrong with that fool?" And you'll just have to stand there doing the Chump Shrug.

CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19) According to my calculations, Jesus Christ Himself was a Capricorn. And according to the Bible He's a lot better than you could ever dream of Being. If you saw His face you would turn into a pillar of salt because you used to have dreams about sleeping with men. Gross. I mean, even if you are a female that's gross. Nasty. No matter what, you will never be God's Favorite Capricorn (GFC) and you need to know this. Maybe you can get second place. Maybe. I'd say not to worry about it. Then again, what do I know? I'm an Aries. I can always be GFA.

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18) "All that and a bag of chips" is a saying that should be used by no one. Dammit I just said it. But I made you say it too - in your mind.

PISCES (February 19 - March 20) If your pet dies, why waste precious time and money getting it buried or cremated? It's an animal, the government (so-called-powers-that-be) doesn't have regulations about disposing their bodies. That opens the world up to a whole realm of possibilities. If I were you I'd use this precious opportunity to practice ancient Egyptian mummification. If you get really good at it I'm sure you can make a great living. Think of all the rich bastards that would love to be mummified for thousands of years. Cryonics are so 1960s. After all, cryonics are only for selfish people who think the rest of the world actually wants their used-to-be-frozen-asses walking around on the planet. They already had their turn. Now it's time for the men of the future to live. As Ice Cube put it, check yo self before ya wreck ya self.

-Jesus Pescado

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Comparing Guns to Dangerous Wild Animals

I was gonna write an article about what's better, a girlfriend from Korea or a girlfriend from Japan, but as I was doing my research I realized it was difficult for me to argue in favor of the Korean, so I scrapped that story. Everyone knows the Japanese are the superior race. If you don't agree with me, grab a mirror. Look at yourself. You look bland and stupid. Now tilt your head 30 to 40 degrees to the left and hold your right hand level to you face. Smile widely as you extend the index and middle fingers on your right hand, keeping your thumb, pinky and ring finger against your palm. Look at yourself (please resist the urge to start making out with your reflection until the end of the experiment). You look amazing! And you know what? The Japanese invented that - Koreans are copy cats.

That was fuckin' easy. So check out this argument.

What's better - a gun or a dangerous wild animal?

Most people would say to thoroughly examine this subject we must ask ourselves 1. what kind of gun are we talking about, and 2. what kind of dangerous wild animal are we talking about. Obviously an AK-47 is better than a shark because it shoots a lot of bullets and sharks swim in water, making them pussies because they would die of asphyxiation on the surface where Man resides.

But what about a cougar? Better yet, a saber tooth tiger? Saber tooth tigers are better than any gun on the planet. They are so good that God won't let us have them anymore. It's like a toy that encourages you to misbehave and then your mom gives it to one of her friend's kids. And that really sucks because the other kid is a wiener and you don't want to go to his house (where he always asks to see your wiener) to have to play with that awesome toy but if you do he'll give you really good baseball cards to 'play WWF' with him which always results in him getting his ass kicked. Later in life you will find this sadism really creepy, but for now you're still pissed off that you lost real metal Raphael sais.

What makes awesome dangerous wild animals better than guns is that they reproduce. Imagine if by having two guns you'd eventually have an arsenal. BTW - whatever happened to Arsenio Hall? I loved that movie where he was from Africa. That was some funny shit.

Also, we've all heard that dumb ass quote "guns don't kill people. People kill people." Thanks a lot, Idiot-Guy-Who-Made-Up-That-Quote. You just made me a lot less interested in guns. For I used to believe that guns had will power, and now I need to confront their inanimacy like a pussy. Anywhore, wild animals actually do kill people. They kill people and eat them. What's more intimidating, walking through the woods and you find your old gym teacher with a bullet in the back of his skull, or walking through the woods and finding half of his mostly-eaten corpse that definitely has saber tooth tiger bites in it?

Man, I'm getting hungry.

So now you can see exactly why dangerous wild animals are far better than guns. There are a lot of other reasons but I won't waste your time telling you a bunch of info you can figure out for yourself.

Peace in the East Coast,
Jesus Pescado

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Lewis Cruise: Totally Rad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DILmuYLc5IM

check that out - skateboarding in CANADA - Lewis Cruise crew

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More From the RAD Side

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(I've Had It) Up 2 Here

A Numbered List of My Grievances With Society:

1. I'm not richer than most people.
2. I saw a dead body this morning (that was kinda cool actually).
3. I heard A Tribe Called Quest on a commercial for laundry detergent.
4. Everlast hasn't had a hit song in a while.
5. I don't get to hit people with Everlast boxing gloves very much.
6. Taxes.
7. You need to be in the army or something to have machine guns.
8. You need to have cancer to get medicinal marihuana.
9. I don't have cancer.
10. I'm not a member of a racial minority (unless of course you ask a white supremacist).
11. My Blackberry doesn't have a data plan.
12. Sarah Palin for President.
13. No nudie pictures of Sarah Palin.
14. Sarah Palin should get her breasts augmented.
15. Sarah Palin can't read and makes more money off her writing than I ever will.
16. I don't know Japanese.
17. Society doesn't like me blaming it for stuff.
18. Society wants everyone to have dumb haircuts.
19. Most people in Indiana have dumb haircuts.
20. HBO isn't a social service.
21. How do you get a job at Disney World? Like one of the good ones where you get to dress up like Peter Pan and shit?
22. You probably need a criminal background check for a job like that.
23. Food network. Why don't they just give me food instead of making me look at it those sick sons of bitches.
24. Open Carrying shouldn't just be a right- it should be LAW.
25. The Brady Bill.
26. Republicans.
27. The Tea Party - I'm sick and tired of those white old farts. They need to record themselves talking and play it back to themselves so they can realize how fucking stupid the shit that comes out of their mouths actually sounds. Have you ever heard yourself on a tape recorder? You probably think you sound dumb, don't you?
28. Reggae music - start playing a new song already.
29. Rock music - too loud.
30. Penis envy - if women are so upset that they ain't got one, why don't they put out a lot more?
31. Thai politics have really been irking me. I'm not good with color coded political strife.
32. Taliban. Back in 2001 I thought I'd never end up knowing how to spell that word.
33. MIA's anti-Gingerkid video. I mean, why kill only the male Gingerkids? I think both genders should be exterminated if we really want to rid humanity of the dreaded Gingergene.
34. Premarital sex: it's so hot it takes all the fun out of lovemaking. Sex should be cold, fat and wrinkled.
35. Pomegranates.
36. Non alcoholic beer.
37. People who right dictionaries.
38. The W.H.O.
39. Independent publishers.
40. President Obama (good guy, I just covet his wife a little bit. She's very tall.)

Well I hope the so-called "powers-that-be" get a load of this and shape things up for the future. And by the future I don't mean children, I mean like Ken and I for this weekend.

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breaking news from our foreign correspondent!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80981940/ ANTI-RAD

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80984421/ RAD

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Fuckbuddies In Spokane?

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DJ gNat's Version of "Rad"

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Save Our Troops!

Donate to American Ex-Patriots living in Canada today! Save Our Troops from roadside bombs, RPGs and suicide bombing!
Don't let Mr Spephen Harper and his Conservative platform decide for you - stand up and vote with your dollars. Right now American Ex-Pats need your help to pay for medical supplies, immigration attorneys and day-to-day living expenses. Show your pride as a Canadian and stand up for your friends in need.

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Raddest Music Video EVER!

This video doesn't need any explanation. In fact, this video explains the true meaning of rad. If there was ever a holiday similar to Christmas where the true meaning was rad, this video would be more popular than a fuckin' Christmas tree.

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Rad Jobs for the Summer

School's out and Dad and Mom can't wait for lil Junior to find something other than Pokemon to kill his time. Here at BARRY BROTHERS we've taken the liberty of creating an abridged version of Craigslist containing ONLY rad job postings. Check it out!

Be a psychiatrist for 1 HOUR (toronto)
Date: 2010-05-10, 1:51PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-bwdf8-1733728593@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

need someone to pretend to be my psychiatrist for one hour on Tuesday May 18th at 4pm.
this is completely non sexual - just need help in this situation.
meet with me and my parents to discuss issues about our family.
must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation,
female between 30-45.
i will call you in advance to let you know all the details that must be discussed when meeting with my parents.
please email me if you are interested or have any questions.

* Location: toronto
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 150 to 200 dollars for 1 hour



PostingID: 1733728593


Now we know what you all are thinking: how can this be rad if it specifies "non sexual"? Let's think:

1. You get to pretend to be educated
2. You can probably swindle these people out of a lot more than $200 if you put over the counter vitamins in prescription bottles
3. This person is probably actually in need of a psychiatrist/drug dealer so there are future employment opportunities
4. It will make a great story to retell to strangers at bars



I really need signs (Kennesaw)
Date: 2010-05-09, 8:43PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-ygphh-1732680965@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I need some signs to be created for my business. I am not looking for a graphic designer. In fact, I can design the signs.

I want them to be like standard yard sign size, on like a corrugated plastic. Only one side printed. With 1-2 colors.

I really need them to be affordable. Please if you can offer this service, email me a quote and I'll see if it is workable.

Thanks!

* Location: Kennesaw
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: TBD



PostingID: 1732680965

What a great opportunity! Bust out the crayons and construction paper- these signs need to be made fast and cheap. If you have extra time, try tracing your hand and adding a little beak and gobbler. Now draw two little fork-shaped feet and you have a quality Thanksgiving turkey.



HIV positive individuals for Confidential Survey - $25
Date: 2010-05-10, 3:30PM EDT
Reply to: job-2hkdk-1733951337@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

A Pharmaceutical market research firm is looking for people who are HIV positive to participate in a 15 minute web or telephone survey (your preference) to discuss your current views about HIV and HIV medications. You do not have to be taking medication to participate. This interview will be completely confidential and your information will not be shared. There will be NO SALES or promotions associated with this study. You will receive incentive in the amount of $25 mailed shortly after completing the study. Please respond with the following information:
Name:
Email or phone (whichever you prefer)
Year diagnosed
Method contracted:
Are you on HIV therapy:
Have you ever been on therapy

* Compensation: $25
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



PostingID: 1733951337

Great opportunity, but I gotta warn you: $25 isn't actually worth contracting HIV in order to be eligible to participate in this study.

Not the raddest, but still pretty cool

These guys care about people and stuff which is pretty cool, but what would make the video rad would be the following:

1. Boobs
2. A chick's butt
3. Teenagers beating up cops
4. Less sad people
5. A better song
6. A t-shirt with the Spaghettios logo on it
7. Hootie and the Blowfish
8. People smoking pot and/or eating Spaghettios
9. A funky bass solo
10. A train crash

Definition of Rad

Ten Things That Make This Rad:

1. Riding on the hood of a car
2. Fast rapping
3. Rapping in a church
4. "Welfare carol" -Chris Rock
5. Afro and sunglasses combo
6. Marijuana references
7. Moving pictures in a newspaper
8. Convertible
9. Basketball jersey
10. Crystal ball (duh)

Cool or Rad?

Cool vs. Rad

Since the inception of radical as a term used in regard to cultural awareness, there has been confusion as to the difference between what is deemed "cool" and that which is considered to be "rad".

This topic is likely to surface throughout the publication of this web log [blog], but for now I will attempt to display some of the differences.

Cool: American Apparel clothing.

Rad: Any long sleeved shirt with handmade thumb holes.

Cool: The Beatles.

Rad: The Rolling Stones.

Cool: New jeans.

Rad: The hole in the knee of your brand new jeans.

Cool: Japanese furniture.

Rad: Japanese killer robots (i.e. Gundam Wing, Gundam Seed, any Macross series).

Cool: AMC's Breaking Bad.

Rad: Crystal meth.