Rad Jobs for the Summer

School's out and Dad and Mom can't wait for lil Junior to find something other than Pokemon to kill his time. Here at BARRY BROTHERS we've taken the liberty of creating an abridged version of Craigslist containing ONLY rad job postings. Check it out!

Be a psychiatrist for 1 HOUR (toronto)
Date: 2010-05-10, 1:51PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-bwdf8-1733728593@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

need someone to pretend to be my psychiatrist for one hour on Tuesday May 18th at 4pm.
this is completely non sexual - just need help in this situation.
meet with me and my parents to discuss issues about our family.
must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation,
female between 30-45.
i will call you in advance to let you know all the details that must be discussed when meeting with my parents.
please email me if you are interested or have any questions.

* Location: toronto
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 150 to 200 dollars for 1 hour



PostingID: 1733728593


Now we know what you all are thinking: how can this be rad if it specifies "non sexual"? Let's think:

1. You get to pretend to be educated
2. You can probably swindle these people out of a lot more than $200 if you put over the counter vitamins in prescription bottles
3. This person is probably actually in need of a psychiatrist/drug dealer so there are future employment opportunities
4. It will make a great story to retell to strangers at bars



I really need signs (Kennesaw)
Date: 2010-05-09, 8:43PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-ygphh-1732680965@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I need some signs to be created for my business. I am not looking for a graphic designer. In fact, I can design the signs.

I want them to be like standard yard sign size, on like a corrugated plastic. Only one side printed. With 1-2 colors.

I really need them to be affordable. Please if you can offer this service, email me a quote and I'll see if it is workable.

Thanks!

* Location: Kennesaw
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: TBD



PostingID: 1732680965

What a great opportunity! Bust out the crayons and construction paper- these signs need to be made fast and cheap. If you have extra time, try tracing your hand and adding a little beak and gobbler. Now draw two little fork-shaped feet and you have a quality Thanksgiving turkey.



HIV positive individuals for Confidential Survey - $25
Date: 2010-05-10, 3:30PM EDT
Reply to: job-2hkdk-1733951337@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

A Pharmaceutical market research firm is looking for people who are HIV positive to participate in a 15 minute web or telephone survey (your preference) to discuss your current views about HIV and HIV medications. You do not have to be taking medication to participate. This interview will be completely confidential and your information will not be shared. There will be NO SALES or promotions associated with this study. You will receive incentive in the amount of $25 mailed shortly after completing the study. Please respond with the following information:
Name:
Email or phone (whichever you prefer)
Year diagnosed
Method contracted:
Are you on HIV therapy:
Have you ever been on therapy

* Compensation: $25
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.



PostingID: 1733951337

Great opportunity, but I gotta warn you: $25 isn't actually worth contracting HIV in order to be eligible to participate in this study.