I was gonna write an article about what's better, a girlfriend from Korea or a girlfriend from Japan, but as I was doing my research I realized it was difficult for me to argue in favor of the Korean, so I scrapped that story. Everyone knows the Japanese are the superior race. If you don't agree with me, grab a mirror. Look at yourself. You look bland and stupid. Now tilt your head 30 to 40 degrees to the left and hold your right hand level to you face. Smile widely as you extend the index and middle fingers on your right hand, keeping your thumb, pinky and ring finger against your palm. Look at yourself (please resist the urge to start making out with your reflection until the end of the experiment). You look amazing! And you know what? The Japanese invented that - Koreans are copy cats.
That was fuckin' easy. So check out this argument.
What's better - a gun or a dangerous wild animal?
Most people would say to thoroughly examine this subject we must ask ourselves 1. what kind of gun are we talking about, and 2. what kind of dangerous wild animal are we talking about. Obviously an AK-47 is better than a shark because it shoots a lot of bullets and sharks swim in water, making them pussies because they would die of asphyxiation on the surface where Man resides.
But what about a cougar? Better yet, a saber tooth tiger? Saber tooth tigers are better than any gun on the planet. They are so good that God won't let us have them anymore. It's like a toy that encourages you to misbehave and then your mom gives it to one of her friend's kids. And that really sucks because the other kid is a wiener and you don't want to go to his house (where he always asks to see your wiener) to have to play with that awesome toy but if you do he'll give you really good baseball cards to 'play WWF' with him which always results in him getting his ass kicked. Later in life you will find this sadism really creepy, but for now you're still pissed off that you lost real metal Raphael sais.
What makes awesome dangerous wild animals better than guns is that they reproduce. Imagine if by having two guns you'd eventually have an arsenal. BTW - whatever happened to Arsenio Hall? I loved that movie where he was from Africa. That was some funny shit.
Also, we've all heard that dumb ass quote "guns don't kill people. People kill people." Thanks a lot, Idiot-Guy-Who-Made-Up-That-Quote. You just made me a lot less interested in guns. For I used to believe that guns had will power, and now I need to confront their inanimacy like a pussy. Anywhore, wild animals actually do kill people. They kill people and eat them. What's more intimidating, walking through the woods and you find your old gym teacher with a bullet in the back of his skull, or walking through the woods and finding half of his mostly-eaten corpse that definitely has saber tooth tiger bites in it?
Man, I'm getting hungry.
So now you can see exactly why dangerous wild animals are far better than guns. There are a lot of other reasons but I won't waste your time telling you a bunch of info you can figure out for yourself.
Peace in the East Coast,
Jesus Pescado
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