BEST G20 EVER!

TORONTO - Ok, I admit it: I was absolutely wrong about this past weekend sucking [hairy] nuts. It was fantastic, only I wish I copped some more loot. My main regret is that I didn't (knowingly) kill any Black Bloc members. Next G20 I'm going out with a shotgun and a burlap sack to stuff all my scalps and ears in. They fetch a pretty penny.
         It wasn't such a horrible G20 as all the critics said, but it wasn't a great G20. Much like Robert Cohn's novel (that was a Hemmingway reference, dipshit.) We can G20 better. THIS OCTOBER IS SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA G20 2010 #2!!! YEAH!!
        One thing that sucked: I was walking through the University of Toronto campus last night and found a bunch of abandoned water bottles. As I was G20ing/Rodney Kinging them a bunch of police jumped out and were all, "Whuttinthehell're youdoin'?" I'm all like, "Liberating this water, ma'am." Then he got real mad at me so I started to run whilst yelling, "LIBERATE NORTH IRELAND!" Later I realized I forgot to liberate the water. This morning I woke up and remembered it actually happened. I don't know if that's funny or not. True story, ask Jimmy.
          Anyway, as N.W.A. said, "F*** Tha Police." I'm still not 100% sure about what that first word is (my mom never let me buy CDs with explicit lyrics, thank you very much Tipper Gore-You-Whore). As a side note: the word "whore" is not at all sexist. It is simply short for "[w]horrible person". Don't get me wrong, 1992 was a much better year for rioting. You got a lot more free stuff in those days. But that was 18 years ago. We gotta quit living in the past. After all, it's the 90s! Women can date whoever they want these days and show cleavage.
          Man, OK, so I'm very well hung over (BTW- that's what SHE said about ME). R.I.P. Andy Riggio. Anywhore I'm not sure if this article is any good. Straight up man, if you got a problem with it I WILL G20 YOU!

So here's the deal on G20:
a) These rich bastards don't do shit. I know. I paid $30 to hear Rich Dad talk and he didn't teach me a Goddamn thing.
b) I hate my dad.
c) I have a lot of GAP clothing but will smash their store without stealing anything (WTF homeless people?)
d) Stealing isn't wrong if enough people are doing it.
e) Fuck you, dad.
f) Where did all the protesters go?
g) Who the hell pays for Black Bloc members to live? Their dad? Why do they hate their dad so much?
h) What do we G20 next?
i) I wanna G20 this Trini girl.
j) Did you see her G20s?
k) She has the G20ingest ass you'll ever see.
l) Makes me wanna G20 the whole motherfucker.
m) The cops used a WEATHER MACHINE. Did anyone else notice that shit? Started raining like a bitch.
n) There are too many G20 letters in the G20 alphabet.
o) If you are ever gonna "try and get arrested", do something cool. Don't just antagonize police officers; go stab the bully from 2nd grade and take all the money in his wallet. That way you kill two birds with one stone (well, one bully with one knife.)

Umm that's it. I'll give you guys a tip for the ladies now. Wait- this is a tip for the gents.

HOW TO PLEASE YOUR LADY
When you 'git yer freak on' and you are ON THE BOTTOM, firmly grasp BOTH of your lady's ass cheeks with BOTH hands and lift it from the back side. Now you're moving she thang up against yo thang and she think yo thang is like 3 thangs bigger.

Tell your lady if she wants the real deal then she better ask for:

JESUS PESCADO