A Sharp Criticism of Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry is one of the richest Americans in the film industry. His laugh-out-loud comedy styling leaves the aisles of theaters crowded with audience members rolling on the floor in fits of hysterics. He has directed countless plays in the Southern theater circuit, movies produced by Lionsgate, and has two TV shows on TBS.

But beneath the "good humor" is a darker side.

The Oprah-promoted-Christian-crossdressing-thesbian will stop at nothing to remove any cool accomplishment made by white Americans in the past 20 years.

That's right. He named one of his two TV shows after arguably the best white hip hop group ever. But he didn't stop there. He misspelled the name too. And the TV show (which I was initially very excited about) has absolutely nothing to do with being Irish, drinking Guinness, hanging out with Cypress Hill or bare-knuckle boxing.

So what gives?

After numerous unanswered phone calls and emails to Very Perry Films, I gave up. This asshole just didn't want to talk to me. Probably because I'm Irish. Obviously I'm not too offended because he likes dressing like a girl and that makes him a sissy. And he can't sell a single DVD outside of his home country. When I make my movie it's gonna be a whole lot better then anything T-Per made. And I won't need to dress like a girl. Therefore, I'm much cooler than Perry and if anything I should be ignoring his phone calls.

Ha. How do you like them apples?

Also, as a white guy I have a hard time relating to his characters. In fact, instead of learning to love their quirkiness I just assume that's the way black people are in real life. I was shocked the first time I slept with a black woman and noticed that her boobs weren't upholstered. It was a lot better than I thought. Some part of me just assumed beneath her dress would be a penis.

So not only is Perry taking away one of our few totally rad accomplishments, he sets us up for embarrassment. And he's supposedly a Christian?

Beyond that his work isn't funny and makes me feel embarrassed for the African Americans he embarrasses. If he ends up returning my calls (and I so choose to answer the phone) I will request that he stops sucking at everything he does (and shares some of his sucker-money with me.)